Wednesday, October 22, 2008

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Cleveland guard Delonte West is reportedly dealing with depression. Now he finally knows what it feels like to be a Cavs fan.

The Pittsburgh Pirates have hired Joe Kerrigan to be their new pitching coach. Kerrigan will replace Jeff Andrews, who left due to shell shock.

Sources report that Yankees star Joba Chamberlain was recently heckled at a Nebraska strip club. After all, he was blocking the view of 27 patrons.

Kobe Bryant hyper extended his right knee in a game against the Bobcats. The rest of the NBA can hardly wait to add insult to injury.

Alex Rodriguez is close to purchasing an $80 penthouse apartment in Manhattan. The 5,200 square foot pad has four bedrooms – one for A-Rod and three for his ego.

Willie Randolph is expected to be among the leading candidates for the Brewers' managerial vacancy. Randolph can barely wait for the 3:00 am phone call telling him he has the job.

Los Angeles guard Baron Davis sprained his ring finger. Luckily he isn’t expected to need it as long as he stays with the Clippers.

The NBA will expand its use of instant replay this season. In related news, the NBA will expand its use of instant replay this season.

New York Jets fans are bidding as much as $65,000 for seat licenses in the team’s new stadium. You know the economy’s out of whack when a single seat is fetching more than most of the houses in New Jersey.

Two University of Georgia football players have been arrested, bringing the total since January to 10. On the positive side, Georgia’s prison system is now just a quarterback and a left tackle away from being able to compete in the NCAA.

Patriots QB Matt Cassel threw three touchdown passes in a 41-7 win over the Broncos. The USC grad was so impressive that Gisele Bundchen was spotted giving him her phone number following the game.

Jose Canseco has agreed to fight Danny Bonaduce in a Celebrity Boxing Federation bout in January.The announcement has come as a shock to many observers who didn’t realize Jose Canseco was still a celebrity.