Monday, November 10, 2008

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Alex Rodriguez plans to attend the Victoria's Secret Fashion show next Saturday night. It should be refreshing for him not to be the biggest boob in the room.

Babe Ruth’s final road uniform is currently on the auction block. Something tells us the Bambino would be delighted to know that people are still trying to get into his pants.

The Knicks beat the Bobcats 101-98 to ruin Larry Brown’s return to Madison Square Garden. The only way the night could have been more satisfying for New Yorkers is if Isiah Thomas and Stephon Marbury spontaneously combusted at half court.

Bud Selig has told his colleagues that he does not want Mark Cuban to buy the Chicago Cubs. Apparently the only Cubans he wants in baseball are the ones that come to America on top of a floating doorframe.

The New England Patriots have fired one of their cheerleaders after a series of racy photos popped up on her Facebook page. On the positive side she now has 21 million new Facebook friends.

Jose Canseco has pleaded guilty to trying to bring a fertility drug across the border from Mexico. The real crime is the fact that they let him back into America at all.

Magic Johnson reportedly cried all night long after Barack Obama beat John McCain to become the country's first African-American president. Mind you, he also had the same reaction after watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2.

The father of suspended Ohio State receiver Ray Small says the school is intentionally trying to ruin his son’s career. If that were true they would have traded him to Notre Dame.

Point guard Earl Watson reportedly wants out of Oklahoma City. Then again, so does half the town’s population.

Boston College has unveiled a life-sized statue of Doug Flutie. The sculpture will also serve as a height chart to determine if fans are tall enough to get into the stadium.

The Houston Astros have signed Taiwanese pitcher Chia-Jen Lo. Hopefully he holds up better than most products made in Taiwan.

Manu Ginobili could be rejoining the San Antonio Spurs sooner than expected. No word yet on who will take his place as Balki in the touring Broadway production of Perfect Strangers.

Willie Randolph has been named bench coach of the Brewers. The Mets are planning to call and congratulate him at 3:00 am tomorrow morning.

The San Antonio Spurs are 0-3 for the first time since 1973. Ironically, that was also the rookie year of many of their current starters.