Monday, April 6, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

North Carolina guard Ty Lawson reportedly won $250 at a Detroit casino. Sadly, that makes him the fifth richest person in the city.

Experts believe Tarheels center Tyler Hansbrough has dropped 35 positions in the draft over the last four years. And that’s just the WNBA draft.

The Mets triple A affiliate is offering free tickets to all unemployed fans. We’re not sure what’s more demeaning; being told you’re not good enough to keep your job or having to watching an entire team of baseball players who were told the same thing.

Allen Iverson has said he would rather retire than come off the bench. Some people will do anything to get out of spending time with Kwame Brown.

The 49ers are uncertain about drafting Matthew Stafford because he was reluctant to talk about his parents' divorce. Luckily he did redeem himself slightly by participating in a big group hug and singing a rousing rendition of kumbaya.

A new poll has found that baseball fans want the use of instant replay expanded. In related news, a new poll has found that baseball fans want the use of instant replay expanded.

Former QB Jeff George is reportedly trying to figure out how to get back in the NFL. At this stage in his career he might want to try buying a ticket.

Danica Patrick's season got off to a rough start after she crashed in the Honda Grand Prix. On the positive side, she did learn a very valuable lesson about trying to apply her make up at 200 miles per hour.

Las Vegas bookies are predicting the New York Yankees will win 95.5 games this year. The .5 comes from simply showing up against the Kansas City Royals.

San Diego ace Jake Peavy threw five more shutout innings to finish spring training with a 0.00 ERA. The only way his spring could have been any more perfect is if he hadn’t spent it with the Padres.

Churchill Downs wants to experiment with night racing at its upcoming spring meet. The idea is expected to meet with considerable opposition since most jockeys have a strict 8:00 bedtime.

Boston College defensive tackle B.J. Raji reportedly failed a drug test at the NFL combine. It sounds like someone is trying awfully hard to get the attention of the Bengals.