Monday, June 15, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Phil Jackson has surpassed Red Auerbach with his 10th NBA title. In Auerbach’s defense, he really hasn’t been himself since 2006.

Los Angeles police say five officers were hit by debris following the Lakers' championship victory. Say what you will about L.A.’s other team, but at least no one has ever been injured in a Clippers victory parade.

The WNBA is marketing its upcoming season with the slogan “Expect Great.” The phrase replaces their previous tagline of “Expect Empty Seats.”

Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas has reportedly lost 20 pounds. And that’s just from talking.

John Daly claims to have lost 40 pounds. It’s incredible how slim you can get when you consistently sleep through breakfast.

A Seattle Little League coach has been charged with second-degree burglary after he broke into a vacant store with three of his players and stole lights and bolts. In his defense, he was simply trying to teach his team the nuances of the double steal.

Former Utah center Greg Ostertag is trying to figure out how to get back in the NBA. At this stage in his career he might want to try buying a ticket.

NBA official Tim Donaghy was recently attacked in prison by a fellow inmate. Sounds like he really could have used a ref to break things up.

Former NFL quarterback Ryan Leaf plans to surrender on drug and burglary charges in Texas. After all, if there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s giving up.

The Philadelphia Eagles plan to reward Donovan McNabb with a big raise. Of course, if they really wanted to reward him they’d have someone kick Terrell Owens in the nuts.

Chicago Bulls point guard Derrick Rose has said he used "extremely poor judgment" in posing for a photo flashing a gang sign. Actually that’s just bad judgment. Extremely bad judgment would be signing a contract with the Los Angeles Clippers.

UConn basketball coach Jim Calhoun recently fell and broke five ribs during a charity bike ride. It’s the biggest collapse he’s experienced since last March.