Monday, August 3, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

John Daly recently posted his worst score ever in a regular PGA Tour event. In fact, his score was so high many observers mistook it for his blood alcohol level.

Arizona runningback Beanie wells has lost 22 pounds since April. His ability to lose big makes him a perfect fit for the Cardinals.

Heavy rainfalls postponed the Pocono Cup. On the positive side, many NASCAR fans were treated to their first shower in nearly a month.

Lamar Odom has signed a three year extension with the Los Angeles Lakers. Specifics weren't discussed, but Odom should have no problem maintaining his strict diet of Laffy Taffy and Peppermint Puffs for many years to come.

Former Cy Young Award winner Cliff Lee says he feels no pressure after joining the Phillies. In fact, after leaving Cleveland all he feels is relief.

Injured infielder Jose Reyes was recently spotted dancing all night at a Latino hotspot in Washington Heights. In his defense, he was just ecstatic not to be watching the Mets.

Detroit Tigers reliever Joel Zumaya is scheduled to have season-ending shoulder surgery in August. His season is ending so early it’s almost as if he plays for the Detroit Lions.

Insiders believe Ricky Rubio is still two years away from joining the NBA. And one million years away from joining the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Titans runningback LenDale White has dropped 30 pounds over six months simply by giving up tequila. John Daly once tried the same thing and all he lost was six months.

Jamaal Tinsley is looking for a one-year deal with either New York or Miami. Strippers in both towns are awaiting his decision with baited breath.

Nuggets guard J.R. Smith has been released from a New Jersey jail. It’s not what you think – he was just there to get more tattoos.