Monday, September 28, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

Lindsay Lohan recently told reporters that she’s a huge fan of Formula One. In all fairness, Lindsay Lohan is a huge fan of anything with a cockpit.

David Wells has criticized the Yankees over their handling of Joba Chamberlain. And if there’s one thing Wells knows it’s how to handle a boozing, overweight pitcher.

A judge has allowed a man to be temporarily released from jail so he can see the Red Sox play the Royals. In the end, the judge felt watching Kansas City play nine innings was equivalent to at least two years in prison.

The Nationals have become the first team in the Major Leagues to lose 100 games. The accomplishment is especially impressive since they’ve only played 95.

The Timberwolves are trying to trade backup center Mark Blount. Anyone with a bag of basketballs or a jug of Gatorade is encouraged to inquire within.

Bobby Cox has agreed to a one-year contract for 2010. Apparently the Internet isn’t the only place where you can get a Cox extension.

Cowboys left tackle Flozell Adams has been fined $12,500 for kicking two New York Giants. In his defense, you’d probably have some anger issues too if your parents named you Flozell.

Russia’s wealthiest man has struck a deal to buy the New Jersey Nets. Apparently being the wealthiest man in Russia isn’t the same thing as being the smartest man in Russia.

Michael Vick recently admitted he thought he’d return as a starter. Those who understand karma thought he’s return as a dung beetle.

Delonte West is expected to join the Cavaliers after being arrested for carrying two concealed handguns and a shotgun. That’s just what the team needs, another shoot-first point guard.