Monday, November 23, 2009

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

The undermanned New Jersey Nets had to use a chair in place of a player during a recent practice. Sadly, the chair scored 25 points.

A group of scientists have ruled that disabled sprinter Oscar Pistorius has an unfair advantage over his fellow runners. Not in competition, but in finding a decent parking spot.

Mike Holmgren says he has interest in joining the 1-8 Browns. That’s good news: they could use him on defense.

The New Jersey Nets have no intention of firing head coach Lawrence Frank. No matter how much he begs.

Reggie Bush has missed practice for the third straight day. In his defense, it’s taken him that long just to walk around Kim Kardashian’s ass.

Mike D'Antoni recently referred to the Knicks as being "dead in the water." In related news, New Yorkers has been advised to boil their water for the next two weeks.

Devin Hester had his pants pulled down while trying to make a catch. The Bears haven’t been that exposed since their loss to the 49ers.

Northeastern University has decided to drop its football program. Sadly, the Cleveland Browns have decided to keep theirs.

Retired NBA star Jayson Williams has agreed to a plea deal that would send him to prison for three years. Luckily for Williams his seven seasons with the Nets have prepared him well for serving hard time.

Major League Soccer is on the verge of creating a 20th franchise. For those of you keeping track at home, that’s one team for every fan.

Rex Ryan says he isn’t ashamed that he recently cried in front of his players. Well sure, once you get past the shame of coaching the Jets you can pretty much accept anything.