Monday, March 1, 2010

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

The Winter Olympics have finally concluded. Americans can now return to ignoring alpine skiing and bobsledding for the next four years.

The Memphis Grizzlies plan to send Hasheem Thabeet to D-League. Mainly because there isn’t an F-League.

Ron Artest hopes to lose 20 pounds of what he calls “useless weight.” He could start by cutting off his head.

Chipper Jones has promised he will walk away from baseball if he has another disappointing season. Sadly, the Nationals have refused to agree to the same deal.

White Sox pitcher Bobby Jenks has stopped drinking alcohol. The veteran hurler should be especially effective now that he’ll only be seeing one catcher.

The NCAA has accused Michigan’s football program of five major infractions. Six if you count losing to Appalachian State.

The mascot for the Kansas City Royals has been accused of poking a fan's eye out with a hotdog. Wait a second, the Royals have fans?

The NFL has declined to punish Raiders coach Tom Cable. After all, coaching the Raiders is punishment enough.

John Daly is giving away a pair of his signed underwear. As an added bonus the garment can easily be converted into a 4-person tent.

The Clippers have confirmed they are keeping Drew Gooden. It’s still unclear whether this qualifies as a hostage situation.

Cardinals reliever Ryan Franklin is upset that Major League Baseball has decided to ban guns in its clubhouses. And Chris Carpenter is upset that he has to share a locker next to Ryan Franklin.