Monday, April 5, 2010

You've Got To Be Joking

Sit back and relax as you enjoy this week’s Sports Shorts.

A 300 lb. sign from the New Jersey Nets’ practice facility recently toppled over. Luckily no one was injured since the Nets never practice.

Donovan McNabb has been traded to the Redskins for two draft picks. There must be an easier way of getting free Chunky Soup than that.

A pair of jockeys recently exchanged blows at the Santa Anita Derby. Luckily it was just a small fight.

Al Harrington says he would like to re-sign with the New York. Ironically the Knicks have no interest in signing someone with such low self esteem.

A restaurant in Thailand has made a life-size replica of Tiger Woods out of condoms. The creation of the figure required 500 prophylactics, or as Woods would call it, a good day.

Brian Kelly has admitted that the Notre Dame Fighting Irish stink at the moment. In other words, they’ve improved dramatically.

Tiger Woods’ longtime adviser, John Merchant, has blamed Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley for corrupting his client. Merchant went onto blame Isiah Thomas for global warming and Dominique Wilkins for destroying Atlantis.

The Blue Jays have locked up outfielder Adam Lind for another four years. That’s nothing. Authorities expect to lock up Milton Bradley for 8-10 years by June.

Andrew Bogut’s season is over after fracturing his right hand. Something tells us this isn’t the big break most Bucks fans were hoping for.

The NCAA is on the verge of expanding the men's basketball tournament to 96 teams. In the interest of saving time they also plan to reduce the women’s tournament to one team: UCONN.

Tiger Woods finally hit the links for some practice at Augusta National. It’s the first time someone in his family has swung a club in public in six months.